Psychiatrist

      Three years ago I started going to a psychiatrist. Even though that first time I didn't receive a constant treatment, he didn't inspired me confidence and his office was in an old asylum and that kind of freaked me out. 

      After that experience, I moved to a different city, but not only city, I moved to a different country in a different continent. I felt that if I moved far away enough from the place I had many problems in everything would be different. I wanted to start a new life. To be a new person. Change my name and appearance and start over. 

      All of that wasn't enough. I couldn't make it. The ghosts of my past were still there with me like before, or even worse. I started feeling suicidal. I lived in a fourth floor. Every time that I looked out my window I thought how easy it would be to just let myself drop and end everything. Once day I almost did it. That scared me to the core so I went to consult a psychiatrist. 

      I met the second psychiatrist in Spain. He inspired a lot of confidence, he reminded me of my deceased grandfather, he told me I needed to take a bunch of pills and to start going to therapy. The therapy I received were with a different doctor. I don't think those therapies helped in any way. Still, I went for over six months. 

      I left the treatment with these doctors because I felt like my country was calling me, I needed to be in peace with my hometown and with my family. I hadn't accomplish my wish to start a new life in Spain and I felt alone. I didn't know and still don't know who I am, so in the meantime I took the decision to move back home.